Nothing runs like a Deere

Police: Man Drunk Drove Mower to buy Wine

I think we could set up a tag,"cabin fever", just for these kinds of stories.

The image of a man driving away on a lawn tractor conjures up sweet and sentimental images of Richard Farnsworth in his last feature flick, The Straight Story -- but if you're not a Mitten Stater, you are missing what kind of full-on freaky drunkenness it takes to hop a mower-decked John Deere to drive to the party store in sub-zero wind chill and blowing snow.

Obviously the man was out of his head drunk; he could have gotten away with this if he'd been sober enough to slap on a plow blade or a snow blower attachment to the front end before going on his little jaunt.